13 Completely Outrageous Ways to Quit Your Job
Unemployment might be high, but confidence is returning to the job market in ways other than companies that are willing to spend extra money for extravagances like working bathrooms and pencils.
Some people are so confident that the job market is approving that more than two million workers quit their jobs last February because they were sure they would be able to find another one. Of course, not all of them gave their two weeks notice. Some took the road less traveled when it came to submitting their resignation. Here are some more of the imaginative ways to quit:
1. Tell your boss that you can “take this job and shove it” and demonstrate how with a very descriptive slideshow.
2. Print your resignation on asbestos paper.
3. Copy a certain part of your anatomy on the Xerox machine and staple it to your boss’ head.
4. Set the boss’ desk on fire, nail his toupee to the office break room, spike his coffee with Wite-Out and tell him “I quit!” Then, ask if he can write you a letter of recommendation.
5. Run into the office and yell, “I’m outta here and I’m taking everyone out…” Then, when the SWAT team shows up, add the phrase “to lunch.”
6. Shave out the phrase “I quit” in your back hair and take a stroll around the office “with the top down.”
7. When your boss asks what you’ll be doing when you leave, drop your pants and tell him you’re “moonlighting” for another company.
8. Hire someone to write you a well-thought, intelligent resignation letter…like a skywriter.
9. Have a couple of pops in the morning before you head to work and fly your last route to Albuquerque.
10. Burn your bridges by burning the bridge you cross on the way to work everyday.
11. Hire a singer to deliver a “(Blank)-Off-a-Gram.”
12. Leave your resignation letter at your boss’ house on their garage door with a can of Krylon.
13. Tell him the only way you’ll stay if he beats you in a fight ‘Thunderdome’ style.