7 Lies Every Guy Tells His Girl
Safe to say, every man at one point has used at least one of these lies on you. This, according to Glamour Magazine...
1 "Your best friend rocks!" My last girlfriend thought her best friend was "awesome" (and the friend agreed). I guess I just have a different definition of awesome. To my ex, it was the fact that the friend was comfortable going to a bar in sweatpants. To me, awesome would be a friend who is comfortable going to a bar in no pants. Alas, I knew my girlfriend loved--and listened to--her zany crony, so I played along.
2 "I'm sorry." When a guy says this, there's a good chance that he's more confused than contrite. "I've apologized to tons of women, and not once was I perfectly clear on what I'd done wrong," says my cousin Steve. "I was, however, totally clear on the fact that I was expected to apologize." Next time this happens to you, ask your guy what he's sorry for. If the answer is vague (e.g., "for all the things that made you mad"), he hasn't a clue what he did.
3 "Mark needs to talk." In our 15 years as friends, Mark has never needed to talk. So when I tell a woman I have to go out to have a heart-to-heart with him, what we're really doing is drinking beer and watching sports. On rare occasions when Mark actually does have something to discuss, such conversations never last more than four minutes and usually end with: "Don't stress about it. Let's get a beer and watch the game."
4 "I'm headed into a tunnel--gonna lose you." I say this to get off cell phone calls at the beginning of a relationship. But I am not driving in my car; I am sitting in my apartment. It doesn't mean I'm bored with the conversation--in fact, it usually means I'm pleased with my performance thus far, and once I've strung together a few good jokes, I just want to end on a high note.
5 "I love your dog/cat." "When my fiancée gets home, I get a nonchalant 'Hey' but her cat gets a parade," says my friend Chris. "Hugs, kisses. She asks if it's hungry--as if it can answer! What about me? I wouldn't mind a snack!" Bottom line: We can't stand the competition, but we have to play along if we want to get a little affection of our own.
6 "The sex is great, but let's take a quick break." Ever have a session interrupted because he suddenly needs to go to the bathroom or "has something on his mind"? In truth, he may have just finished having sex. Since we don't want to admit that we didn't last as long as we (and presumably you) would like, we'll pretend something urgent distracted us. Please don't dig for the truth.
7 "I'm just kidding." Perhaps man's most employed tactic for getting out of a jam. We said something that held truth--about your family, your friend, you--and you got upset. Now we're doing damage control and trying to pass the whole thing off as a joke. It wasn't. When my friend Joe (stupidly) told his girlfriend that if he weren't with her, he'd want to date her sister, she flipped out. His response: Whoa, hold on! Totally kidding!
Pretty accurate, if you ask me. Are there any other lies they may have forgotten? Add yours in the comment section below.