The following is a true story. So true that George Romero couldn't write stuff like this. The following is an actual conversation screen-capped and used with permission on someone requesting the day off. His excuse was, unfortunately for him, legit.

A little context about this. The man works with livestock and got a couple of ticks attached to his scrotum. The initial messaging, from what I understand, is that he actually asked if the receiver of this message would be friendly enough to remove them. The reply was as polite of a "Oh, hell no!" as possible. So he went to the doctor to have them take care of his issue.

Tom Cobb, Facebook

 

Tom Cobb, Facebook

 

Tom Cobb, Facebook

Ticks are serious business. Once a tick starts to find its way inside you, it's advisable to not just pull them out as they detach so easily. My question for you is, "Can you top this?" I've heard some great excuses to be late or not come into work that were legitimate excuses, but this one may take the cake.

Or sack, as it were.