Being the wife of a famous late night talk show host might sound glamorous, but there are some pretty serious drawbacks. For starters, you have to watch him awkwardly flirt with every hot young thing that gets booked to sit next to him. Perhaps that is why Conan O’Brien had to pull a Tom Cruise and go the wife-audition route when he wanted to find a spouse.

Luckily for us, Conan just found these long-lost wife editon tapes, and played them on ‘Conan’ Wednesday.

From the looks of the videos, being married to a famous entertainer is even worse than we imagined. Not only do these brave women have to endure sexual proclivities involving diapers and Darth Vader helmets, but earthworms and horrible singing are also part of their daily routine.

Yet, somehow, Conan was able to find a wife in the end. Perhaps there is still post-Katie Holmes hope for Tom Cruise after all.