“Wow, my gun is really dirty, I should to clean it in my lap, while it’s loaded.” – This guy.

You don’t have to be dead to be a candidate for the dreaded Darwin Awards, a tongue-in-cheek award given to people who inadvertently remove themselves from the gene pool by way of stupidity. To receive a Darwin you need only be incapable of reproducing, like Michael Smeriglio, who ended his ability to influence the evolution of our species by blowing off most of his genitals while cleaning his gun last week.

The 18-year-old from Port St. Lucie, Florida initially lied to police (understandable) and told them his horrifying wound was a result of a potshot somebody had taken at his groin as he walked down the street. His explanation didn’t hold up to questioning, though, and he eventually admitted to shooting himself in the junk with a gun he had bought at a party. You can always tell someone is lying (or when they have shot off their own penis) when their voice goes up a few octaves.

A police search of Smeriglio’s home found marijuana; his roommate and landlord, Joseph Lamar James, was subsequently arrested on drug charges. What a pair.

You win this round, natural selection.