Joe Simpson

Former 'Newlyweds' hubby Nick Lachey is really pleased he's rid of Jessica Simpson, mostly because he doesn't have to deal with her father Joe trying to grab a piece of him all the time anymore.

It's not easy to be Jessica Simpson: Sure, she's wealthy and gorgeous, but she has an underemployed groom-to-be, a Weight Watchers contract that's not going to work out so well and no real grasp of how the reproductive system works. Now she also has a dad who's really hungry for her cash, to the point of potentially depriving it from her fiance and baby.

Amid scandalous rumors that he left his wife because she doesn't have a penis, Joe Simpson -- father of Jessica -- recently canceled his regularly-scheduled golf date with an unidentified virile young male and instead played with a schlumpy age-appropriate friend. A change in golf partners notwithstanding, Simpson's newly-dyed blond coif is not helping those "gayest gay in the history of gay&