Well kiddos, the bad news is that school has started. But look on the bright side. School has started!! We know, we know- nobody likes to go back to school after three months of absolute freedom. But after a while the pool parties, the bbq’s, the spontaneous trips to Denver; they all get boring.

…Ok, no they don’t. Summer is awesome and going back to school sucks. But, it’s a part of life that we all have to go through. We empathize, however, so we have compiled a list of the Top 5 Ways To Make Going Back To School Suck Less. You’ll thank us next May.

#5- The Clean Slate

The one thought that every college freshman has when entering the brave new world of university, is that now they have a clean slate. They can be whoever they want to be, do whatever they want do, and say whatever they want to say. Joshua Price, The D&D kid from Geek High can now be hipster computer genius, “JP.” Once you go to college, the world is your oyster. But here’s the thing- why can’t you do the same thing in high school? Three months have passed from the last time you set foot in (Fill In The Blank) High School. Chances are, because most teenagers have the memory of 1995 Robert Downey Jr., nobody is going to remember many details about you. Unless you’re the star quarterback or the head cheerleader (and let’s face it, who would want to start from scratch when you’re ALREADY the coolest kid in school?), you have the chance to become whoever and whatever you want to be.

#4- The Impossible-To-Believe-(Because-It-Never-Actually-Happened) Summer-Story

Guess what I did this summer while you guys were drinking Rockstars at your stupid pool party? I was hanging out with actual Rock Stars in New York City! It all started when I took a simple family vacation and decided to grab a quick burger after everyone fell asleep. I was walking around looking for a small eatery and then I saw him- David Bowie. He was just as I imagined him from The Labyrnith. I didn’t hesitate to walk up to him and tell him how much I admired his work, but he cut me off mid sentence and said…


That never actually happened. But it could have. And if it could have happened to me, it could have happened to you. Why couldn’t you have met David Bowie in New York? Or rescued a baby from an anaconda in the South American rainforest? Or made out with Katy Perry at some posh night club in Miami? If you want to become legen…wait for it…dary in the halls of your respective schools, you need to come up with an awesome (and unlike my story, somewhat believable) story.

#3- Suit Up

Not literally. Nobody likes the kid who actually wears suits to school. Pretentious douche. But we do recommend that you dress to impress. Everyone knows that it’s the clothes that make the man, or woman, as it were. Take me, for instance. In 6th grade, Eminem was at the height of his popularity. Because of this, I thought it would be awesome to bleach my hair, pull my jeans to just past my butt crack, and throw on my best white tank top (still not sure if it’s politically correct to say wife beater). Yeah, it didn’t work. No wonder I didn’t lose my virginity til 10 years later.

Cut to Freshman year of high school. My cousin Josh was living with us at the time. Josh was from a bigger city and was a big proponent of “Clubbing.” Because of this, he had lots of (what I thought were) awesome clothes. Unfortunately, tight silk black shirts and gold chains don’t look good on anybody, especially a gangly, awkward teenager. Yep, still didn’t have a girlfriend up to that point.  Anyway…Come senior year, I wore shorts, t shirts, and plaid. Lots of plaid. Guess what? I also got a super hot girlfriend that I dated for four years. I directly correlate her attraction to me to the clothes I was wearing. To further exemplify this, I started wearing more and more V necks a couple years ago. Girlfriend and I broke up shortly thereafter. Clearly, she has no taste.

#2- Treat School As If It Were A Reality TV Show

Anyone who’s ever been to school knows that there is no shortage of drama. There’s backstabbing, lying, cheating, sordid affairs between young men in Eminem clothes and the hot red-headed English teacher (hey, a guy can dream right?)- it’s all there! So why not…let’s say…magnify the situation for our own personal entertainment? Find the nearest film geek (trust us, they’re there. You just never notice them. That is also part of the reason it took me 22 years to lose my virginity), slip him a 20, and ask him to follow you and other people around school all day. This will make him the creepy(er) guy of the school, but the bright side is that you can upload the footage to Youtube and we can all watch the drama unfold. Who knows, you may become an overnight Youtube sensation, ala Rebecca Black. Hey, whatever happened to her by the way?

#1- Try To Make A Memory Every Day

This is the easiest way to make going back to school suck less. Make a memory every day. Meet someone new. Smile as much as possible. Don’t be afraid to ask the prettiest girl in school out for coffee. Write stuff. Take a lot of pictures. Tout, Instagram and Tweet as much as you can. Be nice to the kid that nobody else is nice to. Have all-nighters with your best friends, even on a school night. In the words of some geeky film/drama/music nerd that used to go to high school- Laugh every day. Live for the moment. Know who you are and don’t ever forget it. Hold strong to your faith, do whatever you’re dreaming of.  But most importantly?