It’s that time of year again, when lovers rejoice and single people curl up with their good friends: Chinese Takeout and Television. If you had a hot date and missed ‘Glee,’ Popcrush has a recap of their Valentine’s Day extravaganza, titled ‘Heart.’ Spoilers ahead!

Relationships in the Glee club are all over the place right now and Mr. Schuester has an antidote for all the lonelyhearts out there: Find and sing the world’s greatest love song. Get to it, New Directions! Sugar Motta, the rich girl with a heard of gold and a voice that sounds like a cat getting strangled, invites everyone in the club to a private party that her dad is throwing at Breadstix. There’s only one catch: no singles allowed. Everyone must find a date. When Sugar is reminded that she, herself, is single, she only answers “not for long.”

You’d figure that with Rachel going off to college and being engaged, you’d get to meet her dads eventually, and this is the episode. Rachel’s dads, played to great effect by Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stokes, invite Finn, his mom, and Kurt’s dad over to their place for a V-Day din-din meet and greet.

Mercedes calls to order this week’s meeting of The God Squad, to which Quinn has returned. Sam is also there, along with a Christian transfer student named Joseph, a guitar-playing barefoot long-haired hippie, played by ‘The Glee Project’ secondary winner Samuel Larsen. He’s “like a teen jesus,” remarks Quin, but will the newcomer shake things up? And did you notice Shane isn’t there? Hmmmm …. The God Squad decides to deliver singing telegrams for Valentine’s week.

Looks like Kurt has a secret admirer. He’s convinced it’s Blaine, but when he gets an unsigned Valentine delivered by a silent courier in a gorilla suit, the mystery thickens. Artie and Rory Finnegan both intend on taking Sugar Motta to her dad’s party. While Tina and Mike (the most drama-free ‘Glee’ couple) sing ‘L-O-V-E’ by Nat King Cole, a montage plays of Artie and Rory competing for Sugar. Who will win?

Finally we get some Bittana! Brittany makes Santana a V-Day mix CD, but while they’re kissing in the hallway, Principal Figgins tells them their PDAs are forbidden, citing religious objection. Santana calls BS.

Finn and Rachel announce their engagement to the Glee club. Kurt and Quinn are both fully opposed, along with Mr. Schuester, but most others are excited for them. In an effort to win over Sugar, Artie sings ‘Let Me Love You’ by Mario, and it totally works! Score!

The God Squad delivers Rachel a singing telegram from Finn. They sing ‘Stereo Hearts‘ by Gym Class Heroes, and if you had any doubts about Joseph’s talent, this should get rid of it. This God-loving boy can sing. Santana puts the school’s religious alliances to the test when she asks the God Squad to deliver a singing telegram to Brittany. Most of the God Squad is down with being gay, but WWJD (What Will Joseph Do)?

Rory announces to the club that his Visa is expiring and after he sings ‘Home’ by Michael Buble, Sugar feels bad for him, and switches over to taking him to the party instead of Artie. Rory, we hardly knew ya. I guess this is goodbye. Or is it? Something about this Rory kid is just untrustworthy.

It turns out Mercedes dumped Shane, but she feels awful about it, and says she can’t be with Sam either. In a beautiful tribute, she sings ‘I Will Always Love You.’ It’s a somber moment. RIP Whitney.

At the Hudon-Hummel-Berry family dinner, Rachel sings ‘You’re the Top’ (Cole Porter) with her dads over a grand piano. Afterward, they all toast Rachel and Finn, and Rachel’s dads propose some “teenage lovemaking.” In a bit of reverse psychology, they encourage the kids to go have sex, thinking their over-supporting attitudes will turn the kids off the idea, and for a while it seems like it might work. Rachel and Finn have a fight over how they’ll cohabitate when they’re in New York. But in the end, they kiss and make up. They also decide that they might as well get used to living together, and announce that they’re moving the wedding up to May. Wow!

At Sugar Motta’s party, Kurt arrives early expecting to meet with Blaine, his expected “secret admirer.” He does find his gorilla-suited Romeo, but when he takes off the mask it’s (gasp!) David Karofsky, the bully that tortured Kurt in Season Two. He says he’s in love with Kurt, and when Kurt rejects him, it doesn’t look like he can take it. This is big, you guys.

The God Squad has made up their mind about a gay singing telegram: Of course it’s okay! They sing a mashup of ‘Cherish’ by Madonna and ‘Cherish’ by The Association for Brittany and Santana. The New Directions then break into a rendition of ‘Love Shack’ by the B-52s with a special guest — Blaine’s back! Everybody rejoice!

What love song do you think the Glee club should’ve performed?