Dumb Criminals

There is just something about fast food that makes people abuse 911. In the past, folks have been arrested after calling emergency services to report problems with their orders at Burger King, McDonald's, Subway and Hardee's.

Left on her own without legal representation, this girl (who was awaiting arraignment for a first arrest) was in over her head. It probably also didn't help that she didn't get the sobering reality of being physically present in court to knock some sense into her, since this is a video arraignment taking place from jail, where she is nervous and surrounded by other inmates. Oh, and it doesn't help

Like so many of us have done, Ryan Hopkins made a bad decision while drunk. Unlike the rest of us, he decided to rob a Little Caesars. But the stick-up didn't go quite the way he had (probably not) planned.

As any thief worth his salt knows, a clean getaway is absolutely essential. Well, a South Carolina teen recently botched a robbery in a big way after police followed a trail of Cheetos right to his front door. (While that's not the thief pictured above, authorities should still be on the lookout for a hungry cheetah in human clothing.)

The clerk at the Sheridan Mini Mart in East Bremerton, Washington probably isn't the world's greatest employee. In fact, when a woman came into the store at 10 PM Thursday night the slacker-in-question wouldn't stop talking on his phone as she tried to grab his attention. His conversation was so engrossing that he didn't even care that she had a gun.

After robbing a bank, most criminals will try to lay low for a period of time. Not 19-year-old Hannah Sabata. The Stromsburg, Nebraska teen wanted to get credit for her ability to knock over a local bank for over $6,000 and also make off with a Pontiac Grand Am that didn't belong to her.

Bah, humbug! A Canadian Grinch ruined the annual holiday parade for dozens of children last Saturday. The intoxicated 24-year-old man, who hailed from Kingston, was arrested after police received a complaint. Parents informed authorities that this jerk ruined Christmas for their youngsters by walking up and down the parade lines and telling them that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

In a move that will shock comic book fans everywhere, a California man was recently arrested after allegedly attempting to mug a woman while wearing a Spider-Man costume. Spidey, what have you done?!

While intelligence isn’t a prerequisite for a life of crime, it certainly would’ve helped these ten boneheaded scofflaws. One clumsy bank robber shoots himself in the foot, a thief can’t figure out how to operate a door as a means of escape and another gets hopelessly stuck while trying to break into a store. If criminals keep being this dumb, us law-abiding citizens have nothing to worry about.