snooki

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Welcome to Snooki's world of saggy nipples, stretchmarks and baby food.

Hmmm... Snooki should be so lucky as to compare herself to the mighty Miley Cyrus. As if she's such a paragon of virtue now.

The folks behind 'Dancing With the Stars' announced the cast for the upcoming season 17 Wednesday morning on 'Good Morning America,' and there were some surprise names on the list, including Bill Nye the Science Guy and Snooki herself.

Now that Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are parents, it makes sense that they would immediately receive unsolicited advice from Snooki. (MTV pays her for that now, you know.)

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi has gone through a real transformation. After she and fiance Jionni LaValle had their son Lorenzo, she needed baby advice but didn't feel most of it was useful. So now she's written a book, 'Baby Bumps', to rectify that for other moms-to-be.

- Snooki wants Anderson Cooper to drink her breast milk. Worst drinking game ever.

Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose welcomed their first baby into the world on Feb. 21. And since Snooki has a grand total of one baby herself, MTV assumed she's now 100 percent qualified to give the new parents some advice. In fact, she's the network's first celebrity baby correspondent. So there's that.

Part of you is probably thinking, “Snooki and JWoww? I don't want to watch them doing anything, much less dressing Conan O'Brien up like a Staten Island mob wife.” But the other part is screaming, “I WANT TO SEE CONAN IN FALSE EYELASHES!” And ultimately? That part always wins.