Lil’ Kim Rumored Dead Following Kim Jong-il’s Recent Passing

When North Korean dictator and dear leader Kim Jong-il died on Sunday night, the world was shaken — especially the rap world.

Following Jong-il’s passing, the Internet was abuzz at the death of a certain Queen Bee. Buzzfeed even published a list of 25 confused people who were convinced Lil’ Kim kicked the bucket. Not to worry: Though she’s been stung by Nicki Minaj recently, Lil’ Kim (Kimberly Denise Jones) is still kicking.

To be fair, the duo have a few things in common.

For one, Kim Jong-il and Lil’ Kim are a rather petite pair. While Lil’ Kim loves high heels, Jong-il is a fan of the platform shoe (and of possible genocide of fellow small folk). They’re both fans of oversized designer shades and have a penchant for booze — Lil’ Kim name drops Cristal in her track ‘No Time,’ while Jong-il was Hennessy’s biggest customer in the 1990s, spending an average of $600-850,000 a year on the cognac.

The pair also have some non-alcoholic vices. Lil’ Kim has a song called ‘Drugs,’ and Kim Jong-il was once so petrified of becoming addicted to painkillers he’d been prescribed, that he had his administration injected with the same dosage of the same drug daily. Jong-Il is also a cinephile, making it easy to confuse him with Jones, who released a track called ‘Lights, Camera, Action.’

We hope you realize we’re being completely facetious. Consider these misinformed mishaps testaments to proofreading.