How To Tell If You’re Too Awesome
Nobody's born awesome, it's just something that happens. The problem is, the truly awesome will most likely never know it, because awesome people just go about their business without worrying about what other people think of them.
Maybe everything goes your way. This doesn't mean that life is perfect, it just means you go with the flow and have no problem taking on whatever problems may arise.
The problem with being awesome is, you can't turn it off. Sometimes, you need to sit back and let other people enjoy the limelight. You try to take the back seat during events, but eventually - through no fault of your own - everything starts to revolve around you. It's almost like a disease.
At some point, your awesomeness can turn against you. Once you hit a certain level, "being awesome" quits being a blessing, and turns into a curse. Below is ten signs that you have crossed that threshold, and have become too awesome (or a douche...the signs are the same):
1.) Everybody hates you -
This is obviously because they are jealous of the awesomeness that you exude.
2.) The Opposite Sex Won’t Talk To You -
They know that they are out of your league, so they don’t want to embarrass themselves by getting turned down.
3.) You Get Stuck In Elevators Often -
Can you blame the building for wanting to feel you inside of it for as long as possible?
4.) Your Computer Constantly Locks Up -
Even these miracles of modern science are stunned by your brilliant aura.
5.) You Constantly Get Turned Down For Promotions -
It’s pretty apparent that your boss is afraid that you’ll one day take his job. He also likes keeping you with the common folk, in hopes that you’ll rub off on the other employees.
6.) Birds Constantly Crap On Your Car -
This actually has nothing to do with you – birds are just a**holes.
7.) You Have A Hard Time Losing Weight –
Sometimes, there’s just not enough of you, so you must expand to be able to hold in the awesome.
8.) You’re Starting To Go Bald –
No worries – this is just the big man upstairs trying to get a better look at your sexy self. He’s just happy that he made the perfect human being, and wants to bask in your light.
9.) You Constantly Have Car Troubles –
Mother Earth can’t stand not feeling you, so she tries to make you walk as much as possible.
10.) You Never Win Anything –
It just wouldn’t be fair to everybody else. You’ve already won life.