So far, my daughter and I have been lucky in the broken-bone department—a couple ankle sprains at soccer games, but she's kept her skeleton intact for 12 years. Until recently, when I got the largest scare of my fatherhood to date: that frantic phone call with screaming in the background from the school letting me know my daughter was headed for the E.R.

"It appears she's broken something," was about all the information they got out before I went tearing through town. When I got to the hospital, she was sporting a gnarly, 'NFL Films'-style broken wrist and was in a great deal of pain ... until the doctors introduced her to morphine.

It was almost miraculous how quickly she felt better. And equally miraculous how quickly things got weird, as she demonstrates in the video with her detailed knowledge of the properties of unicorn urine.

Additionally, I should point out:

  • Yes, I know that some are of the opinion that parents posting videos of their child under the influence of drugs/anesthesia is wrong. We recorded what was going on purely for my daughter to watch afterwards, and we held onto it for quite awhile before she strongly encouraged me to share it. You'd really have to know my daughter, the world's biggest ham and a slightly beyond-her-years pre-teen who is also the consummate viral-video fan—she lives for Ellen DeGeneres, Vine, etc. I think she's proud to accidentally have the starring role in one.
  • Yes, I know I held the camera the wrong way. Sorry. Snap decision to pull it out in mid-weirdness and realized it after the fact. Dads, don't let this happen to you during a must-capture moment. Here are a few tips for not following in my footsteps.