Cleavage Banned To Make Chess Competitions ‘Less Sexy’
The European Chess Union is taking sexy back with a strict new set of rules that may make watching ladies land a checkmate, slightly less titillating.
The new dress code regulations specified by the ECU, will first be enacted during the upcoming European Women’s Chess Championship. Women are required that their décolletés (that’s a fancy French word for cleavage) not be exposed and that only the second from the top button may be worn open. If that’s not disappointing enough, the length of skirts was also mandated and must be no shorter than 5-10 centimeters above the knees.
The ECU’s General Secretary confirmed that the rules were created in response to players “not wearing proper clothes.” If we were aware that such stacked and scantily clad ladies were playing chess, maybe we would be watching chess championships instead of beach volleyball.
We were going to make a funny pun about a woman’s chest and name them after chess pieces but we don’t know anything about chess. We’ve also never touched a woman’s breasts. The joke would seem forced.