Khloe Kardashian: Religion Helped Me Through My Divorce
Khloe Kardashian is the first to admit she may not come across as particularly religious. But she insists spirituality has always been a major force in her life, and it’s helped her through many struggles -- including the death of her father and her ongoing relationship with ex-husband Lamar Odom.
"I believe with every fiber of my being that there is a higher power," Khloe wrote in a deeply personal letter for Lena Dunham's Lenny Letter site, where she delved into her history with religion and the role it played in helping her grapple with the loss of her father.
"When he was dying, he wasn't himself. He was talking like a baby; it wasn't him," she wrote. "At one point he was calling me Kim, and I remember how frustrated and mad I was. I couldn't come to terms with it. But later, I understood that he wasn't fully there.
"After he passed, I was bitter and angry — I was VERY angry at God. I didn't understand why someone who was so great, my dad — why he would be taken away. My dad was such a believer, so I couldn't come to terms with how someone with such a deep relationship with God could be gone. I was young and I needed someone to blame for what had happened. But then I started to process the end of my father's life, and it changed something inside me."
While Khloe admits she no longer attends church on a consistent basis (a tradition implemented and then ended by her late father), she still considers herself a devout Christian.
"I'm a Christian but I don't think a church necessarily makes you religious,” she said, echoing thoughts similar to those expressed by Justin Bieber during a 2015 Complex cover story (“You don’t need to go to church to be a Christian. If you go to Taco Bell, that doesn’t make you a taco”).
What matters, Khloe insists, is faith. And while the strength of her beliefs may have wavered a bit with the death of her father, religion is what helped Khloe through her divorce from ex-husband Lamar Odom — but also, to adhere to one of their vows even after their split.
"It was a challenge for me when I decided to get divorced. At my core, I don't believe in divorce, but I came to a point in my marriage where I had to make the choice to take care of my own mental and emotional well-being in order to protect myself and my happiness," she wrote.
"I am at peace with that decision and do feel like I honored my vows to the very end. I feel that I kept the serious vows I made in front of God with every inch of my heart, which is why I am still honoring them today even though my relationship with my ex-husband is in a different place," she continued. "I believe in caring for my partner — past or present — 'in sickness and in health,' and feel at peace with my relationship with God even after the fact."
Head over to Lenny Letter to read Khloe's essay in full.
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