Oh the Horror!

As much as I don’t want to admit it, our summer is coming to a close. And while that invokes shudders and groans from all of us, there is a small ray of proverbial sunshine. The fall season is usually when we see a large influx of Horror movies come down the Hollywood pipeline. This year is no exception. Check out the list and their respective trailers below.

The Thing

Release Date: October 14th, 2011

Intern Interest: Zero

Wondering what that loud banging sound is? It’s the sound of millions of John Carpenter fans banging their heads against their desks in disbelief over this “prequel” (myself included). Most fans of Carpenter’s work dismissed the whole thing outright. I was going to try and give it the benefit of the doubt; I mean sometimes prequels can be kind of cool, fleshes out the story line. Well that was until I watched the trailer.

Are you kidding me?! This movie has NO RIGHT calling itself a “prequel” this is nothing more than a awful “remake” that completely rips off the original. I mean they have literally done almost a shot for shot recreation of Carpenter’s original masterpiece. The best adjectives I heard used to describe this movie were “shameless” and “unnecessary”.

If this movie in ANY way sparks your interest, I have some advice for you. Save the money you’re about to spend in the theater and go buy a copy of John Carpenter’s original “Thing”. You will not be disappointed.

Shark Night 3D

Release Date:  September 2nd, 2011

Intern Interest:  25%

I have a feeling that the development of this movie went something along the lines of the following:

Hollywood Dude #1: Yeah so Piranha 3D didn’t too badly. How can we choke a couple more golden eggs out of this goose?

Hollywood Dude #2: I know, we follow the same formula, only we change the creature.

Hollywood Dude #1: Okay, so a bunch of young starving (yet attractive) actors willing to get nude on camera, no script, and a scary creature. But what’s scarier than piranha?

Hollywood Dude #2:  I’ve got it! A SHARK! It’s fool proof.

Hollywood Dude # 1: BRILLIANT! Let’s fast track this thing.

This and Apollo 18 come out on the same day, I think it’s safe to say which one most people will be going to see.

Paranormal Activity 3

Release Date: October 21

Intern Interest: 70%

I have to admit I never saw the first two Paranormal Activities. I had an inkling of interest when the first once came out. But the amount of media hype and deluge of commercials for the movie with all the “Audience Reaction” shots turned me off the whole project. If they’re trying this hard to convince me it’s a scary movie, it probably isn’t.

With that said, after watching the trailer for Paranormal Activity 3, I think I am ready to finally see one of these movies. The whole “spooky kid” mechanic frightens the hell out of me, whether they are the antagonist or not. Putting children in a horror movie takes the whole thing to eleven for me.

Apollo 18

Release Date: September 2nd, 2011

Intern Interest:  75%

As the Moviefone guys pointed out this is very much a “Blair Witch in Space” movie.  I remember that my interest was not peaked when I saw the original teaser trailer in theaters. However this latest trailer makes the movie seem like it might actually be worth a night at the movies. Too many horror films today rely solely on the “gore” factor with complete disregard for suspense. This one appears to be bringing the suspense back to the genre. This in my opinion will always scare me more than 3 people surgically grafted to each other.

Red State

Release Date: October 18

Intern Interest: 100%

Look Kevin Smith has delivered some of the greatest movies of my time. On the other hand he’s also delivered some films that left everyone thinking “What in the world was this man thinking?” I am very confident that Red State is going to deliver. I haven’t been excited for a Kevin Smith movie in a while. But I have a feeling that his knack for dialogue and humor is going to make this film a very enjoyable experience. You can count on me being there opening night.