It's cold. Snowy. Icy. OH, THAT WIND! The last thing you want to do is scrape and brush snow to make your vehicle "legally" safe. Yes, you're supposed to clear the snow off the hood and roof.

Here are FUN cheater tips for cleaning show off your vehicle without doing any work. (For the LOVE OF FATHER WINTER - D O  N O T take one word of this seriously).


THE SNOWY ROCKET LAUNCH: That snow hat on your roof can be removed by pointing up a steep hill and gunning the engine. It's fun to hear it slide off. Even more fun to watch it slide off in the rearview mirror. You'll get a real laugh if you own a pickup. It all lands in the bed. Later you can drop the tailgate and do it again.

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THE 60 Z SUB Z: That means 60 TO ZERO IN SUB ZERO. Find a place where you can make a sudden stop. You're about to get a good windshield cleaning as it all slides down in front of you. It's good for a laugh. Just don't do this at an intersection. You'll keep everyone waiting while you get out and clear what didn't slide all the way off.

THE ROUGH ROAD RUMBLE! Should you happen to live in an area that has speed bumps or rough roads just take a fast drive up and down until it all rattles off.

THE PARKING LOT 360: Oh this one is FUN! Just find an empty parking lot, get up some good speed, and do 360's until the car is free of snow.


BUMPER CARS: Still can't clear that snow and ice? Still too lazy to do it the right way. Don't worry, since you can't see you'll run into the car in front of you and it will all fly off with a sudden stop. You're providing a public service. You've cleaned your car and the guy in front of you. If you're in a line of cars you can help them all out. I'm sure they'll thank you.

Just to be sure I need to say it again -- (D O  N O T take one word of this seriously).


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