Seasonal Tourist Traps Set In Wyoming
LISTEN... Can you hear it? BLABLABLALBA Yack-a-de-yack-yack.
Ah yes, the grass is green, and the temperature is just right. There is a little bit of snow on the mountains while at the same time there are flowers blooming below.
As the snowpack melts this is the perfect time to see waterfalls in Wyoming.
Animals are coming out of hibernation.
It won't be long now before we will see the emergence of the Wyoming state tourist.
You can hear their calls as they step out of their vehicles, stuck in the very traffic jams they have created, and begin that weird babbling sound they make.
It's rather annoying really. Not sure what that's all about.
Trapping is usually looked down on in the modern age as "inhumane." But here in Wyoming, the locals can't wait to set up their tourist traps.
The shops are meant to stand out. They look hokey. Play hokey music inside. Sell hokey and silly-looking pointless junk.
We spoke with one local shop/trap owner in Cody, Wyoming.
"The problem is that they have too much time on their hands and too much money for their own good. Plus, the less time they actually spend out in the wild the better the chance that they will survive."
The goal is to run the Wyoming tourist out of money so they will leave the state as quickly as possible.
For some reason, overpriced food and cheap gimmick toys seem to work. It's the perfect bait.
By "FOOD" we don't really mean food. It's pure fattening JUNK. Nothing good about it. For some reason that draws tourists to it like flies to fresh dog poop.
"Just make it look a hokey as possible and post a price tag so high that only an idiot would buy it, and they just can't seem to resist," explained our shop/trapper.
No one really knows why these tourists buy all of this crap. It ends up in the closet or the trash shortly after they get home.
Despite the objections, tourist trapping is a win-win.
The less time the tourist actually spends in the environment, that being the great outdoors, the less of a chance they have of getting eaten by a wild animal. Or have their pants taken off by a buffalo. Yeah - that actually happened.
It is true, these tourists really do have too much time on their hands and too much money. They are more than happy to be relieved of their money. The Wyoming economy needs that cash.
So you see, it's harmless. Everybody wins.
Actually, the Wyoming Department Of Tourism is thinking about tagging tourists with ear tags before we release them back into the wild.