Talking Bear Yells At Yellowstone Tourist For Non-Consensual Hug
This past weekend I was at an event in Cheyenne, Wyoming when I saw Smokey Bear. Rather than the usual handshake and photo, I asked him to poke me in the chest and act like he was yelling at me. I did this because I have an idea:
While at the event kids were encouraged to go hug the big bear. Adults did it too and asked for photos. So, what are we teaching people here?
What if we had people in cute bear costumes at Yellowstone and when tourists went up for a hug and a photo the guy in the suit YELLED AT THEM and CHASED THEM OFF?
This would be a great job for those JERKS in society who don't like people in general and are always getting in trouble with the law for drunken bar fights. Why don't we just pay them to abuse people for a good cause?
I can hear it now: "Mommy, the bear smells like beer, and he yelled at me and kicked me in the butt."
If we have enough of these costumed creeps harassing the tourist maybe it might just cure them of wanting to hug and get photos with the real thing?
We'll have to make a Bison suit too.
WHERE IS THIS STRANGE BREED OF TALKING BEAR COMING FROM?
Admittedly this bear is a little different. He comes from that odd breed of Yellowstone bears and mostly walks on two legs and talk.
We have already witnessed bears opening car doors and walking into grocery stores for food, so we know they are getting smarter. You can see video evidence of that at this link.
Maybe it is about time we addressed this talking bear thing! Where did this aberration come from?
The first talking bear that I am aware of is Baloo, the bear from The Jungle Book. That one doesn't just talk, he sings. The big question I really have is, what is this kind of bear doing in a JUNGLE? They don't really have any that far down south.
Why did no one think it unusual that there was a bear living in a wooded area in England? Again, bears are not known for this. Yet here we have Winnie-the-pooh.
If we come back to Yellowstone we have to talk about Yogi and Boo Boo. How this breed of talking bear is so far spread around the world no one knows.
Here is a bear that was caught in a forest fire and made it is mission after to tell humans to stop being stupid. So far that hasn't been working so well. I guess because even the dumbest bear appears to be smarter than the average tourist.