PETA Would Like You to Stop Using Animal Names as Insults

I will prove to you that I'm not making this up. PETA has made a public plea to request that you please stop using animal names as insults. I guess that means you're a big chicken if you don't listen to them. Oh, wait.

On behalf of all cowards, jerks and snitches who are repulsive and lazy, I would like to say that I'm offended by their recommendations. Take that, PETA.

Listen. I love animals. I would say that I love them on a bun, but that would be insensitive. In Wyoming, we are conservationists for the most part despite the stereotypes, but I have to take issue with this ridiculous request.

When I choose to call someone a chicken or a sloth, I mean it in the most loving way possible. And, if I don't, too bad for you, PETA. You pigs can take my words to the bank. Oh, wait. BACON.

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