Because Taylor Swift's actual existence is roughly as charmed and magical as Kim Jong-Il's fictional one, she locked lips with One Direction heartthrob Harry Styles when the ball dropped at midnight on Jan. 1.

Swift was in Times Square to perform her one of her roughly 27 odes to John Mayer, who pretty much doesn't even think he was legitimately involved with her, 'I Knew You Were Trouble.' (Maybe he just knew she was crazy -- cwazy, cwazy, cwazy.)

She followed with her kiss-off to Jake Gyllenhaal, 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,' accompanying her typically strained singing with equally typically awkward, tryhard choreography.

Styles hopped over to Swift's Times Square HQ for 'New Year's Rockin' Eve' around midnight, but first took in Coldplay and Jay-Z's performances at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn. (Apparently even her own boyfriend can't stand her shrill, offpitch, oft-cracked vocals either. We commend his good taste -- if not in stalkers, then at least in aural pleasures.)

As the ball dropped -- not Harry's, the silver one that Dick Clark used to take care of -- the pair shared a lengthy smooch and then just hugged a lot in full view of fans and the many cops that surrounded them.

Of course, this, to Haylor haters, was merely a publicity stunt. And they're totes evil for even pretending to date because they owe you all a fantasy of attainability. (No, seriously. People think this.)

While their manufactured sweetheart images may be feigned, make no mistake. This adolescent lust between 18-year-old Hazza and mentally 15-year-old Swifty is legit, however short a shelf life it may have.

Watch Taylor Swift + Harry Styles Kiss at Midnight