The weather is hot and the people that we hope would keep as much clothing on as possible are stripping down for the heat and showing up in public (Lord help us).

So how does one dress for the Wyoming dry summer heat in a way that says, "practical" yet, "I'm making a statement here - respect me."

DISCLAIMER: The people featured here are fictional - but based on real people. You know who they are, they know who they are. They are proud of what they are but will get mad as hell if you say it out loud.

Getty Images

In the picture above we see Chaz. Note the color coordination  with the baggy red shorts that match the red baseball cap. Well played with the saggy t-shirt in the middle. The tattoos up the arms, neck, and face say - 'I did not pay attention in school and I'm not paying attention now. I have never and will never do anything useful with my life. Give me your wallet.' (We had to compensate our photographer for his lost wallet after he took Chaz's picture).

Getty Images

Doug went with the classic, 'I cut the sleeves off my winter shirt rather than take it off', look. He wears the shirt open to let the breeze into his pits. Note the t-shirt underneath that is more of a functional design for catching food, chewing tobacco, and spilled beer. Combined with body sweat, and Doug always leaves his aroma 5 minutes after he left the room and a week after he got off the sofa, so people don't forget that he was there. The open bottle of beer and cigarette in the fingers are more for fashion than function. But the beer bottle is also a warning and can be used as a weapon, as Chaz found out the last time he tried to take Doug's wallet.

Getty Images

We have to give credit to Mary who has chosen the practical and sexy outfit that she can wear for just a little over a week before she has to change it to make a Walmart run, depending on if she has spilled anything on it, or if it smells too bad, but she could still wear it to Walmart depending on the time of day... Screw it, she'll just go to the dollar store. But most of what Mary "NEEDS" is delivered to her door by Chaz. Chaz is reliable, as dealers go, and he's her brother, and he needs the money.

Those cute pink curlers are only coming out when she's feeling frisky.

Getty Images

By the way this is Mary's husband Gary. Those curlers used to come out for Gary but not so much anymore. Gary wonders why his sofa smells like Doug.

Getty Images

Would you look at Bob. All dressed up for the 4th of July. It's clear what Bob is saying here: "Hey MARY check out my man bear body! I shaved my back just for you." And those shorts just scream - God Bless "Merica. You pinko-libtards can kiss my starry ass shorts. Bob also buys from ChazYou go Bob.

That's our show for this summer. Come back this fall, I'm sure it's going to get interesting.

Enter your number to get our free mobile app