30-year-old writer/director Max Landis started a crap-storm on Twitter yesterday (September 17th, 2015), which is still going on strong, especially among Marvel and DC Comics fans. Whether a fan of the respective movies or the comic books or maybe just the characters in general, one thing is for sure, war has been declared!

Chronicle, gave a semi-detailed (although utterly far-fetched) account of how Batman could defeat all of the Avengers...

Now, myself being the comic book aficionado that I am, could not sit idly by and let this heinous explanation go by unchallenged. In order to get my point across, I had to go full nerd, but I felt it had to be done (Marvel Studios... you're welcome). So here is my detailed response to why Mr. Landis is wrong.

"First off, let me begin by saying I do like DC, but I do think as a whole, Marvel has better characters and storylines, but that is, of course, just my opinion.

On to what’s wrong with this theory:

1.)    Batman would have to know Bruce Banner was the Hulk prior to knocking him out. But let’s say greatest detective “blah blah” (for argument sake), he does. Banner hardly ever goes to a fight as Banner and even if he did, his Banner-tech exoskeleton is way more powerful than Bat’s armor… and he’s always wearing it! If Bat's couldn't knock him out before he transformed, well, HULK SMASH... game over.

2.)    There’s no “hacking” into Tony’s Iron Man armor. Bruce Wayne may be one the smartest men in the DC Universe, but Tony Stark and Bruce Banner are two of the smartest men in the Marvel Universe. That wouldn’t happen… period. Also, Batman acquires/buys his tech. Stark creates his!!! One word: repulsors!

3.)    EMPs haven’t worked on Vision in probably over two decades (if they ever did to begin with). Honestly, he could go intangible and that goes out the window immediately anyway. For the naysayers, EMPs haven’t worked on Iron Man either in about the same length of time.

4.)    Thor is an Asgardian/god, which pretty much equals invulnerable. Even without his mystic hammer, Mjolnir, getting hit with a plane would barely tickle. If he used the hammer or the lightening it produces, the Batwing would be toast as soon as he heard it coming (Asgardian’s also have heightened senses compared to humans… he’d see and hear it miles away and that’s if one of Tony’s millions of alerts/alarms didn’t tell him first). Hey, this Landis guy said all of them at once. Teamwork is part of 6 on 1. On the reality side (if you can even say that when debating fictional super heroes), a thumb flick from Thor (or Hulk), would be game over. Again, we don’t even want to bring the hammer into this.

5.)     Black Widow and Hawkeye… he couldn’t take either of them in a fight solo (probably), let alone both of them at once. Yes, Bat’s is a ninja, but pretty much, so is Black Widow. At one point, she was even trained by Wolverine (who is also a ninja and a samurai). Just because the movies don’t play up her character (let’s give her more onscreen time of being a bad ass Marvel… strong female characters needed for the youth), off her comic books alone, she probably has as many gadgets and as much, if not more training then Wayne. Keep in mind Bruce has only been a ninja in the Batman-lore for about the last 20 years. Black Widow has always been a master assassin. As for Hawkeye, well, he’s another master assassin, with access to Stark tech, I might add. Long range and even up close and personal, Bat’s would at the very least have a hard time with him. Plus Hawk-Eye and Natasha are both killers and wouldn’t hesitate to do so. As far as an even fight goes, Bat's would have a better chance against one of these two solo, but most definitely not together and surely not with assistance from the other Avengers.

6.)    Last but not least, Captain America. I’ve always thought Cap was almost (again, almost) as overrated as Batman. However, this fight wouldn’t be fair to Bat’s either. Human versus super soldier…. Caps strength, speed, senses and stamina are all at meta-human levels. He’s basically the equivalent of ten men in one body. Although nowhere near to Hulk, Thor or even Iron Man’s strength level, he’d still easily take out a regular human, even one as prepared and trained as Batman. Cap has beaten Wolverine, one on one, and survived the same with the Hulk. It would be an interesting fight, but Cap would win it hands down… alone!

These are just the Avengers that are in the movies too. There’s a West Coast Avengers as well as other chapters. Plus I didn’t even throw in Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Falcon, War Machine, Ant-Man, Wasp, Wonder Man or any of the honorary/sometimes members like Wolverine, Storm, Spiderman, The Thing, etc.

I like Batman… I really do. But let’s stop this nonsense… please?! As much as we all love the idea of a normal human being able to defeat people with extraordinary powers, it’s probably not going to happen. Let's think at least semi-logically folks.

Also, let’s not put Superman and his serious weaknesses to a rock and magic in here. Scarlett Witch by herself and poor Clark is out of the fight. Although it would be pretty close to an even fight with him and Thor or him and Hulk, there's no way in Krypton he could take out an entire team of Avengers either.

By the way, I honestly hate the DC stories where Batman defeats Superman. That’s just as ludicrous a notion to me as him taking out all the Avengers. Does anyone else see how easily Supes could kill, not just win, but destroy Bruce? Quick examples:

1.)    Heat vision from orbit at any time Bruce is not looking; i.e. in the bathroom, sleeping, changing bat costumes, etc.

2.)    Super light speed combined with super strength... Wayne would never see it coming. Instant death.

3.)    Ice breath = Batsicle.

I hope you enjoyed the read.  Feel free to sound off in the comments. I welcome all challengers.


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