Dear Children,

I'm writing this so none of you are surprised at what might happen to your bodies in the future. My parents didn't accurately prepare me for most of this. Well, I shouldn't say that, because they probably did and I just didn't listen, but regardless, I'm going to pass on my knowledge now.

First, to my sons:

Enjoy your hair now while you have it, because you will be beyond blessed if it lasts. I started balding around age 27/28, but I will admit, a lot of that was my fault for the way I treated my hair. The chemicals I put in it to straighten it when I had cornrows (for over a decade), definitely didn't help.

Also I wore, and still do wear, a lot of baseball caps. While WebMD says that normally does NOT cause hair loss, they also said, and I quote:

Anything a person puts on their head may cause hair loss if it pulls the hair.

Furthermore, about half of the men in our family experienced hair loss at some point in their lives. It is worth noting, however, that male pattern baldness genetically comes from the maternal side of the family, so blame your mother more, but it definitely won't help your chances that I'm bald too. Deal with it.

Be ready for grey and white hairs to show up all over your body. At age 45, I recently pulled a single white hair out of my eyelashes. I'm pretty sure I died inside a little at that one.

Lastly, enjoy your fast metabolism. It will go away sometime between the ages of 30 to 35, especially if you're not as active. Being the thin beanpoles will generally are, will not last forever and the older you get, the harder it is to keep weight off.

To my daughters:

Talk to your mother. I can't help much, other than by saying, growing old happens and it sucks. Be prepared.

To you all:

I was not kind to my body at all in my youth. I have broken several bones and chopped off a piece of a finger. Between jumping out of 20 foot high (and higher) trees for years, to breakdancing until I was 30, to the Marine Corps, my knees have hated me for most of my adulthood. Your Grandma Alona did warn me of this, but I didn't listen. I really wish I would have.

Our bodies are temples, so treat them as such.

You have been warned.


Your father

P.S. - All jokes aside, I'm in pretty good health for my age, so have fun. But seriously remember, our family health history isn't the greatest, so be careful.

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